Making Amends
by BlackBear53
Summary: This is the sequel to Magnolia Inn. Many wanted to know what happened to Greg aka Callen. Here it is and how he deals with it. It is a redemption story. Thank you Shane Brennan for the use of your wonderful characters. They will be home before dawn.


Chapter 1

My name is Sheri Hartman. It had been a while since I'd been back to the Magnolia Inn. I would never have gone again but a co-worker asked me to a baby shower for one of the girls that we work with. The event was at the Inn and I accepted the invitation before I knew where it was to be held. There was a bit of apprehension about the location but I really had no idea how uncomfortable it would be for me. That proved to be an error in my judgement.

I arrived the day of the party and all the guests were shown into the room where the shower was being held. It was in the room that overlooked the parking lot and the beach, and it was the same room that I'd met Greg Caswell in. I hadn't realized how hard being in that establishment would hit me and how much I wished I hadn't come. In my mind I saw him sitting by the window, walking towards me, I felt the piercing of my soul as his eyes meet mine for the first time and then him sitting at the table across from me. I felt his hand on my arm as we walked out to his car that night. I watched as he told my ex-boyfriend to let me go. I yearned for a glimpse of him. The mind is a powerful thing. It felt so real but I knew it wasn't and even though it wasn't real, it still hurt like hell. I couldn't wait to leave the shower. I stayed until it was polite enough to leave and then rushed from the building.

I guess that my feelings for him haven't disappeared as completely as I thought they had.

The first year was hard. I had taken over the apartment that we were to live in. There had been no convenient way to not do it. We'd signed a lease and given up our old apartments. I had nowhere else to go. We had painted and started choosing paintings for the walls. My furniture had already been moved in and then…nothing. He disappeared never to return. Not another word from him. I never found out where he went or even if he were dead or alive. The police found nothing: not one sign that he even existed. We had spent nights in his apartment, which ended up not being his apartment at all. When I went there to find him, the manager didn't know him. He said no one by that name had lived there and it really wasn't a rental. It was owned by a consortium of some kind and they used the apartment for fellow businessmen who visited from overseas. They'd never heard of Greg Caswell. For a few months I thought that I was going crazy, but my boss, co-workers and other friends helped me through the pain and heartache. I began to move on. I thank Heaven for them every day. The apartment is sometimes a reminder of what I thought that we had and while it is that, it is also a reminder not to trust anyone so completely.

So now after two years I've finally started dating again. Nothing serious just first dates and then no more. I'm having difficulty with it so not one man has made it to date number two. I haven't gotten myself to trust any man since Greg left. My friends say I have trust issues and at the moment I'd have to concur.

I was meeting Dave Elliot, a new man in my office, for lunch at a little Mexican Café that he'd found. I arrived early and had just been seated when I noticed a bunch of men sitting on a front lawn next to the café. They were loud and raucous. The sounds they were making annoyed everyone in the café. They whistled and cat called at all the women who walked past the yard and the restaurant.

For some reason they kept drawing my attention.

One man sat to the side, under a tree, with his back to me. He seemed to be unaware of what went on around him but as I watched him I saw that he kept track of every word that the others said. He wore tight jeans and a blue t-shirt that fit him like a second skin. It showed his well-toned physique to perfection. His hair was close cropped and dark. It looked like it had been dyed but that was just a guess and it came from a distance. He wore sunglasses and a bandana pushed back onto the back of his head. He seemed to be just one of the homeboys but you could tell he really wasn't. He had the feel of a wolf in amongst the sheep. It brought out a mental memory but my brain pushed it away.

Dave came in, sat down and we began to talk and plan our day. The quiet man and the homeboys became a passing thought. We enjoyed the sun and a nice lunch of enchiladas and quesadillas and were just about to go to the LaBrea Tar Pits for an afternoon of prehistoric fun when Dave got a call to come back to the office. We said good bye and Dave left. I finished my ice tea and got up to leave.

I walked to my car and heard a voice, his voice. It spoke Spanish but I knew it just the same. I'd heard it while walking on a beach, in restaurants, in his apartment and while driving to Yosemite for a week of vacation. I'd heard that voice full of love whispers in the middle of the night, asking what's for dinner and saying that he loved me. I turned to where the voice came from.

I have no idea why I tried to pursue it but I was drawn to him like a magnet. I found myself walking back across the street from my car. It was as if I heard his voice for the first time. "Greg? Is that you? Do you remember me?"

His face turned to mine and I couldn't tell what he thought because of the sunglasses and his body being in the shade of the pinion pine he sat under. The body language was pointed though. It said leave me alone. "No Senorita, Yo no se tu. Me llamo Miguel." The rest of his amigos turned to watch the two of us. His name wasn't Greg, but Miguel? He didn't know me? Discomfort and sadness were heavy upon me. Did I get it wrong? Why would he do this? Was I so entrenched in the past that I thought that I'd heard Greg's voice? I nodded to him. I really didn't trust my voice or emotions. "Lo siento." I whispered as I walked away from the men in the yard. I had the strangest feeling that I was being watched if not by him then the rest of them.

El Jefe watched Miguel's reaction to the young woman. "Miguel, muy bonita eh?' Miguel nodded and continued to watch the woman walk away. He spoke quietly as if he was lost in thought. "Si, ella es bonita."

Chapter 2

I stood up to leave. "Yo necesito ir a casa. _El sol me esta molestando hoy. Te hablare manana._ "

El Jefe watched the young man walk away and wondered if the young woman had rattled Miguel. Jefe was protective of the man. The woman could have caused some painful memories that Miguel might not be able to handle. He'd lost his woman a couple of years ago and he wandered from place to place getting into trouble with the law and ending up being taken in by an old lady who rents rooms down on Segundo. El Jefe thought about the reaction the woman had on Miguel and how he'd come to know the man. He's alright, sometimes he seems a little slow and the group doesn't depend on him for much. He hangs out with them drinking beers and telling and listening to tales of himself and the group.

Jefe shouted after Miguel. "Adios Miguel."

I just waved back over my shoulder and kept on walking quickly to my car.

Once I had started the car and drove away I let my mind wander to Sheri. How on earth did she find me? I have been so careful not to be seen by her. She looks well. I tried to stay above the past but couldn't. She looked just fine. I'd kept watch over her the last few months but also stayed away from her to protect her while I was undercover with El Jefe. If they knew about her, well she might not be safe.

So many memories flooded my mind. I thought back to the night we met, all the side glances she missed at the restaurant. I'd seen her as I was shown my seat and from my seat by the window and when our eyes finally did meet I could no longer deny the emotions she brought to life. I used her glances as the reason to go to her table and make my move. I never wanted that night to end and when I drove her back to her car and she drove away I felt alone, so alone. I remembered nights with her and I all wound up in sheets and nothing else. I remembered trips with her to places I'd always wanted to see but never took the time because I wanted to see them with someone special to me; not alone.

She seems to be doing well, getting on with her life, not like me. She's getting out with people, men like the one she ate lunch with today. It should have been me. If I hadn't disappeared I'd be with her but no.

I remembered the apartment where we were going to live. I could never tell her about my house because then I'd have to tell her about me: the real me, G Callen. The man who women won't get involved with because of my job. It frightened Joelle enough for her to break it off with me.

When I finally stopped the car I found myself in front of the building where we were to live. I wondered if she kept the apartment after all this time. I'd wanted her to be in my life forever. I had intended to make it permanent after we moved in but it never happened. For permanence I would've had to tell her about the real me, my job and introduce her to my family. The fact that she never met them must have seemed weird to her but she never asked where they were or why there were no holidays with them. Her two siblings had come to Los Angeles for visits twice that I remembered, it might have been more.

My disappearance was made more difficult by the fact that I never shared her with my 'family.' I never spoke to anyone about her. They never knew I'd met someone or had feelings for anyone. There hadn't been anyone to explain to her as to where I went. In retrospect I knew that she had felt abandoned and I hated myself for being the cause of her pain. I wanted to make all of this right but after all this time how could I do that?

If she still lived here I didn't want her to find me outside of the building. Seeing her today could have toppled six months of work with the cartel and El Jefe. I pulled away from the curb and into traffic to head home. I needed to talk with Sam and get his help. What was I going to do? But how do you explain a separate life to someone that you're that close to?

The lone wolf in me was even at a loss. I could only think one thing. "Lo siento." I'm sorry.

As I drove away I noticed a car pulling into the parking garage. It belonged to Sheri.

Chapter 3

It's been three days since I'd seen Sheri at the café and she'd been in my head for all of them. I had a hard time focusing and functioning. I only hoped that El Jefe hadn't noticed my lack of attention. Sam had however. I'd missed an important bit of information in a conversation between El Jefe and one of his subordinates. I wore an earwig and Sam caught it and acted on it. Thankfully my cover wasn't blown but I heard about it from Sam. I'd almost lost us the means to break El Jefe's cartel's hold on the naval trade at Pendleton.

Sam wanted to know what had me so preoccupied but I wasn't sure he needed to know or if I even wanted to tell him. I spent the next hour in the pistol range shooting things. That usually works but it didn't this time. I needed to talk so I ended up calling Sam and having him meet me in the armory.

I sat at the cleaning table and when he arrived I motioned for him to pull up a chair. "I know you want to know what happened out there today but you need to be patient with this. It isn't something new. It started four years ago and just started up again late last week." I felt my stomach doing flip flops. "Four years ago our friend Joelle broke up with me because of my job. She couldn't handle the dangerous aspect of it. I loved her, I really did. For the first time in my life I had true feelings for a woman, not just lust. The break up hurt. Three months later I found myself at a restaurant by the beach feeling sorry for myself. But fate had a different plan for me that night. I met someone. She's smart, beautiful and she had been hurt just like me. We ate dinner together, walked the beach and then I drove her back to her car and watched her drive away. I'd never felt so alone." I must have gazed off like I watched the evening unfolding before me again. "She struck a chord in me, Sam. We dated for two years and it was serious. I was going to ask her to marry me but there was a problem. She knew me as Greg Caswell, not G Callen. I never took her to my house. We always used the visitor apartment when I wanted her alone or her place. How could I explain two years of lies? It would have been hard but I needed to do it. I wanted to make it all right with her. I wanted to take her home with me not the apartment that we were renting. Then my life went to hell in a handbasket. I hadn't spoken her in two years and all of a sudden there she is smack dab in the middle of my operation. She walked up to me in El Jefe's compound and called me Greg. I had to lie to her again. I think she saw through it though. I didn't break cover but it threw me. When she'd left I excused myself from El Jefe's group and got in my car and drove. After an hour I ended up at the apartment complex where we were going to live. She's still there apparently. I want to see her and explain what happened but what if she won't see me or won't accept me. I love her Sam. I thought that I could get through life without her, but I was wrong."

Sam listened and couldn't believe G had never told him about this woman. She still seemed to be important to him and he still hadn't mentioned her. They been seeing each other and had been involved with each other and G had never talked about her. "G, why didn't you ever tell me about her? Because you thought we'd be upset about you and Jo. She'd already told Michelle and both of us were okay with it. You two tried to make it work and I gave you credit for that. It wasn't a problem."

Callen knew that Sam would have been there for him but Sheri had been a secret worth keeping. "I don't honestly know. There were times when I wanted to tell you about Sheri and tell her about all of you, but it frightened me to think that if she knew about G Callen and his family, I'd lose her. My family is important to me, but Sheri, she was part of me and she was mine alone. I couldn't risk it. I treasured my time with her too much. Then my life fell apart and in turn so did Sheri's. I can't imagine the pain I caused her by disappearing and now I want to fix it. I want her to understand that I didn't leave because of her and it really hadn't been my choice.

Sam had watched the face of his best friend and brother. He'd seen the pain that this had caused him and he saw the love when he spoke her name. He still couldn't believe that G had kept this secret this long. "G, what do you need from me? Whatever you need you've got it. What do you want to do about this? Do you need to talk with the others?"

I shook my head no. I meant a lot of different thing with that head shake. "I don't know but I do know that I need to see her and try to explain the last two years to her. I need to make sure she's alright." I stopped talking because I could feel myself choking up. "I want her back Sam. Don't involve Deeks and Kensi. The Wonder Twins already know that I used the apartment they just don't know why. Sam, I just need you to be there for me. Can that happen?"

Sam had risen and walked around the table to me. He extended his hand to shake mine but I ended up in one of his powerful hugs and I knew that everything was good with my brother. Now if I could do the same with Sheri.

Chapter 4

After I finished with Sam I drove home with my dinner of Thai take out and a six pack of beer. My back yard is not the best in the neighborhood but it is coming along. I had a patio installed a few weeks ago and bought some patio furniture to place there. I'm still after all these years getting used to being a home owner. For all my travels as a youth and even as an adult it takes a bit of getting used to it. I actually have furniture in my house now, not in every room but in the ones where it counts.

As I looked around my home I realized how sad my life really is. I'm forty-five with no wife or children, no real family to speak of. I bring take out home every night and have no real hobbies. I live for my job. These feelings have come to me after the last two years of pain: both physical and mental.

I sat out on the patio until the stars shone and thought about how I could fix my life. I could find someone to fill the immediate void and live my life just the way I always had or I could go and talk to Sheri. I wanted to speak with her so badly. For a man who has no problem being in harm's way the idea of a face to face meeting with Sheri scared the crap out of me. I would have to garner all the courage I could and just go.

I went into work the following day and finished the paperwork on the El Jefe operation. Sam watched me like he'd never seen me before. I smirked at him. "What?"

Sam smiled back. "Well…. what are we going to do?"

I just wanted to bait him a bit. "About what?"

Sam's smile faded just a bit. Then he chuckled. "G, you know about what. Sheri…What do you want to do there.?"

I nodded and smiled. "Oh that, I thought I'd visit her."

Sam got up and walked around my desk and sat on the corner. "Just like that? You're going to walk up to her apartment and knock on the door and say…say what G? Hi Sheri, I'm back?"

I stopped kidding around. "No Sam, I won't be that cavalier. What do you think I am? I know she's hurting and I will be gentle with her. There is no reason to cause her more pain."

Sam lightly punched me lightly in the shoulder. "Do you need back-up on this? I'll go with you if you want me to."

I laughed at the thought. "No Big Guy, I don't think that would be a good idea." I really appreciated his offer and if he'd offered it last night I might have taken him up on it. "But Sam…thanks. As soon as I pass this in I'm going."

Sam nodded and put his hand out for the report. "Get out of here. Go see her."

I got up and picked up my bag as I headed for the door.

Sam looked me in the eye. "G, good luck."

I nodded and headed for my car.

Chapter 5

I drove over to the apartment and parked on a side street. I didn't want my car out in front of the building. I'm sure she wouldn't recognize it but if she was just getting home I didn't want her to see me. I was only here to do a reconnoitering for when I really came to call.

I got out and took the elevator to her floor, walked to her door and knocked. No one answered. I knocked again and then let myself in. I know I don't live there but my curiosity got the better of me. I needed to see for myself that she had gotten on without me or if she was over me. Call it a perverse look into life without me.

I thought she did a wonderful job decorating the place. She'd moved all of her furniture in and even bought a couple of new pieces. She likes dark wood so while the pieces were modern, they had a dark finish and they looked great against the pale pastel walls. Her pottery pieces were displayed on the hutch that she had in the living room. She had collected many of the pieces while we dated. She felt there was a bit of mystery inherent in the iridescent glaze that covered the majority of the works. It mystified her.

I moved into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed that we shared many nights. I remembered a lump in the mattress on the right side of the bed. I reached out and touched it. The memories it evoked brought a lump to my throat. I envisioned the sheets scattered around the bed and her snuggled up next to me like two spoons in a drawer. It seemed like I had always landed on that spot, not that I minded after all I was there with her. I remembered her throwing me out of bed some mornings so that she could make the bed before we left for work. She never failed to make the bed in the morning. Quite unlike me who leaves the bed undone every day that I sleep in it, which is rarely. She is a neatnik and that's an admirable trait.

From the bedroom I moved to the bathroom. I could smell the clean aroma of her that I remembered so dearly. The scent of her shampoo drew me in like a moth to the flame. I think it had a lot to do with why I loved her. She'd always smelled like her soap and shampoo, vanilla and strawberries, nice and clean.

I then moved to the living room and the wall that had been behind me when I came in. I stood in amazement of what hung there. There were at least twenty-five photos that had been printed in all different sizes and then professionally framed. They were all of us and many of our vacations together.

There was the selfie that I'd taken in front of Yosemite Falls and the picture that a kind tourist took of us in the Narrows at Zion. All the rest were taken on our trips to the Grand Canyon, Sonoma wine country and our week in San Francisco. I sat on the couch and just looked at what was in front of me. I guess I had my answer, she still cared. Maybe we could make this work. I quickly rose from the couch as soon as I heard the sound of keys in the lock. I guess I have to be ready today.

Chapter 6

I'd had lunch with Dave Elliot on Saturday and saw the man, Miguel, who spoke Spanish but I felt sure it was Greg. He looked like him and I'd know that voice anywhere. Here it is Wednesday and I'm still not sure how to handle this. Do I go back to the cantina and wait hoping he'll come back or just try to muddle through life like I did before? Why would he not acknowledge me? I thought we were serious about each other.

My boss had sent me home from work. I didn't make much sense in a staff meeting this morning so he wanted me to get my head together and come back tomorrow with a better approach to the buying of the spring line of apparel. Dave had wanted to know if he could help. What could I tell him? Sorry Dave, my brain is living in the past and I'm hearing voices and asking neighborhood bad boys if they are my lost love? I told him not at this time, but thanks.

I drove around for a while. I went to the beach and sat in the sand for a while watching the surf. It was relaxing. I stopped at the grocery for something for supper and lunch tomorrow and then went home. I parked my car in my allotted space and took the elevator to my apartment.

I carried my groceries to the door and as I turned the key in the lock I had a strange feeling that I was not alone. I stopped and scolded myself for the flights of fancy that my brain was taking me on; Greg was home, cooking dinner, watching golf on the television or some other idiotic thing that reality told me couldn't happen. How would I ever get my head straight for tomorrow's meeting this way?

I turned the key and opened the door and a man stood in my living room. It was him. I took a deep breath and put the groceries on the floor before I dropped them. I tried to make a coherent sound but none came for a few seconds. "Greg? Is that you?" Anger flared. "Or should I call you Miguel?" I couldn't help myself, the tears began to flow, but here's the catch: tears of joy, tears of anger or just relief?

Greg made a move to come to me. I shook my head no. "Stay there." I really didn't know what I wanted. Part of me wanted his arms around me, another wanted to pummel him and the other wanted answers. After two years they'd better be good ones too. I picked up the groceries and moved to the kitchen. It was time for me to get my thoughts in order. He followed me and stood on the other side of the breakfast bar. His gaze watched my every move as I put things away.

I needed a good strong drink but settled for a glass of wine. I nodded to the bottle and put out a glass for him. "So Greg, or is it Miguel? Where have you been for the last two years?" I sensed his discomfort but at this moment in time I didn't give a rat's ass about his feelings.

He sat at the bar and poured his wine.

I stood on the other side. If I hadn't I might have struck out at him.

He looked at his glass and then at me. "Neither. My name is G Callen. Most people call me Callen. I have no idea what the G means. I like to think it's Greg." He stopped talking to take a sip from his glass. "I never drank this wine until that night at the Magnolia Inn." He took another sip of liquid courage. "I.. don't know where to start, I just know that I have to." His eyes met mine once again. "I need you to understand that I didn't leave you for anything you did. I had no choice in it."

My Bullshit radar was up and it wasn't buying this crap. "Callen, is it? There's always a choice."

He shook his head. "This time there wasn't. My team and I were on an operation in Russia and I was shot. I needed to be in the hospital."

My mind couldn't grasp what he told me. He was a securities agent with Ernst and Ernst in downtown Los Angeles. Why would he be in Russia? "What team? Why were you in Russia? Do you sell securities there too?" My questions even sounded idiotic to my mind but my mind wasn't tracking too well at that moment.

He had that look that says WTF and then he remembered what he'd told me about his job and his life. "I'm sorry that I had to lie to you. I wanted to explain myself but we left for Moscow just as we were moving in here. I had no time to see or speak with you. Everything that happened then was done hurriedly and in secrecy. I never had time to see you," He paused for a moment and the look on his face was pain. "and then everything went to hell."

My inner thoughts were hell was an apt description of what I went through without you, but I wouldn't say it. Tears began to well again and by sheer force of will I pushed them back down again. "Continue."

He looked down at the counter top and his glass. It was as if he were trying to remember something. "I have a hard time remembering some of it, but I'll try. We had just moved some of your things in here and had picked out the paintings for the bedroom. They are lovely there by the way. I received a call from my boss ordering me to the office. There was a bottle of wine and roses in the back seat to celebrate our living together. The wine and roses were disposed of when we returned but not by me. I was in Walter Reed Hospital in DC for the next twelve months. I had been shot in the head and left for dead until my partner found me four hours later and got me some help." He'd pointed to a spot on his head that the hair grew differently on. I could see the scar from the wound.

My mind still reeled and I had difficulty following what he told me. "Why were you shot and by who? What were you doing in Russia?" The fact that he'd been shot and almost died were in the back of my mind and my mind still tried to make sense of it all.

Callen took another sip of wine before he continued. "I work for NCIS and we were on a non-sanctioned mission to recover a CIA operative from a Russian prison. The catch was that a good friend of mine lived in the cell next door to him. I had strict orders against bringing him home but I just couldn't leave him behind and that's what got me shot."

More questions boiled to the surface as he spoke. "You said you were in a hospital for a year. What happened after that? Why didn't you come for me then? Why didn't any of your family talk to me? Why was I left out of all of this? I had a right to know."

His face took on a look of hurt. My temper had gotten the best of me so I toned it down. "Please explain this to me."

He took another sip of wine and waited for me to have one. He nudged the chair out on the other side of the nook so that I could have a seat. I took that to mean it might take a while. "Your questions are valid. The reason they didn't tell you is that I never told them about you. You were my delicious secret. I didn't want to share you but the other side of that is you would learn who I really am. My lady before you gave me the heave ho because of my job. It is dangerous and she couldn't handle that. I didn't want to lose you. About my family, I don't have an actual one, my co-workers are my family and I want to introduce them to you, but only when you're ready."

The big question stood between us and he knew it. "About this last year, what happened that you couldn't come home or have your 'family' talk to me?"

He pushed the glass away from him and folded his hands. It is a motion he'd made in the past when something bothered him. "After the first year, NCIS and my partner Sam, brought me home to LA. I was in a convalescent home to learn about living again. I knew something was lacking in my life but I didn't know what. I really didn't know much about me. I had to learn to walk, talk and wait for my memory to return. That took six months and even now I sometimes find gaps. I saw glimpses of you for a long time before I knew who you were and how you fit into my life. It seems I never stopped loving you."

That left the last six months. I felt like I had to draw this out of him slowly. I didn't want him to think I was punishing him but it felt that way it to me. "Callen," I had to chuckle myself, "that name feels funny on my tongue, about the last six months?"

He chuckled to himself and I think he sensed that I probably would not like the answer he needed to give. "I'll be honest. I didn't think you'd take me back after so long. I had almost convinced myself that I could go on alone just like I'd always done. Then I saw you up close the other day and that idea went out the window. The last six months I've been working on the case you found me involved in the other day. I needed to go back to work after all that time and go home and try to fix my life and in turn, our lives. That's why I'm here today."

Part of me ached for him and his touch but the other part raged that work came before us. I gave no credence to his worrying about me not taking him back. I would have been so glad to see him and know that he was okay and, thankfully, not dead. "You went back to work for NCIS, with your partner and you let me think you were dead or that you didn't want us. Thanks, I guess I know where I fit in your world." I felt those tears coming again. While you were working did you even think about me, try to find me or even wonder if I'd found someone new to fill your spot?"

He turned to look at my wall. I guess that was my answer. He knew that no man had been in his place. How could there be? That wall said it all. He's my world. All those first dates were something to keep my mind off of my pain.

He turned back to the kitchen and me. "Since my memory of you came back I've thought of you quite often. I've actually seen you several times from a distance. I've sort of kept watch on you. Don't get mad at me for it. I needed to make sure you were okay." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

I couldn't stay mad at him. What is it about those eyes that make me soft? "Stay for dinner, that is if you don't have plans."

He let out a sigh of relief and smiled. "I have to make a phone call and then I'm all yours."

My face must have been quizzical. "Do you have dinner plans? If so we can do this another time."

He laughed out loud. "No, no dinner plans, I have to let my partner know that I'm still alive and we're talking."

I stepped out from behind the breakfast nook towards him. "That's all we'll do for a while, talk. Then we can move on to dating. Do you understand? I don't want to be hurt again."

Callen moved towards me as well. He reached out and put a lock of my hair back behind my ear and whispered in that same ear, "Never again."


End file.
